I am trying hard now, I promise

And yes, I will try to update this more. Just keep prodding me and I will remember all my thoughts for once rather than just ingesting them like a good red wine... great at the time but just a nasty taste in your mouth in the morning.

Conflicts of Interest? Doubt it.

Last night I was nominated on to the committee of a voluntary 'arts' organisation - surely a sign that I am assimilating in to London Society, albeit a society largely made up of New Zealanders, but I digress...

In the process of me becoming the treasurer of said organisation, I had to leave the room as the rest of the group discussed me. Of course, I eavesdropped for a while to make sure the guy who nominated me made me sound good, which he did (thumbs up to that man!) but then I heard the dreaded words of I'm sure any executive or politician. CONFLICT OF INTEREST.

You see, this voluntary organisation has close links with a business that, to those uninitiated, looks to be largely the same as this voluntary organisation. Who I happen to work for. And so, for the next 20 minutes, the group discussed basically whether this is a huge issue.

Now, let me make this clear. I may be a joker, and I certainly like my drinking and good times, but I am also a professional. And so someone telling me that my job is going to be an issue for a voluntary position is an insult. Yes, I see the conflict of interest of the Mayor of Wellington's husband being a property developer. And yes, I can see why those who didn't listen to my explanation of my role in the business may have seen a problem, but pahleeeze.

If I care enough about a voluntary group to dedicate what I know will be many hours of brain drumming number crunching, coupled with blood sweat and tears, why would I not keep this seperate from my normal everyday work?

Okay okay I am sure other people do take a few things in their stride there, but hey. I'm a pro. Or at least in serious training to be one. And I thought that if anything, this would be an asset, not a hindrance.

The lines are dead.

Anyone who knows me will tell you that I work well under pressure AKA leaves things until the last minute and pulls something out of the bag. While I don't generally resort to all-nighters, I am partial to keeping on the study roll until about 3.30am, at which point I have a brain relaxing shower and hop in to bed for an average of about 4 hours. So this dissertation thing is a little worrying. I mean, only one deadline, and it is in January?! Good lord.

So I decided to make myself some deadlines.
Number of deadlines passed as of today: 6
Number of deadlines met: 1.5
Woops.

I did ask my supervisor to metaphorically whip my arse if I didn't meet these, but he is probably the nicest, fluffy pussycat like academic I've met, who I also think might be a bit worried about the legal implications of whipping a student, not to mention what his wife woudl think. So I've been trying to find other ways of putting the pressure on...

1) Organise to do case studies before I've got everything sorted in preparation.
Nothing like the threat of looking like a dick in front of potential employers.

2) Put an aspirational abstract entry in to a research student conference.
If the conference is in November, surely that will make me work?!

3) If I don't get a piece of work done, get my Uncle to sell my Rugby World Cup tickets.
The devastating effects of missing a deadline would simply be too much, this one could actually work. But then, I think that is a little too much at stake, don't you?

So there we have it. Deadlines need a bit of threatening behind them if they are to work.

But in other news, I did have a meeting with my supervisor on Friday, and after I told him how I could never do a PhD because I don't get anything done, he revealed I've done the most work out of all his students. So maybe I don't need to worry too much about deadlines after all??? This is dangerous ground...

Study Aids

I have a theory that it might have been easier to get a dissertation done before the Internet became the must have home accessory. For starters, buying a good phone to talk to supervisors and the like is a lot cheaper than a good stacked-with-goodies computer. But then again, I guess you still needed a PC (or a mac. I always wanted one of those box like old school macs, before they went all organically shaped). And then there is the romantic notion of actually going to a library to browse the periodicals, instead of toiling over online databases that only the database developers can work to a high level...

But there are a few things that I would like to declare key aids, in this age of technology.

1. Last.fm
I have to have music on when I study. Like, have to. If I don't, I notice every sound going on around me, and if that means someone else who may be in the vicinity, then it's war. The act of studying makes my hearing so super-alert so that if you so much as breathe then I tense up, stress out, and begin to think more about how I could silence you (AKA kill you so you don't breathe) when what I really should be thinking about is organisational theory. So, when I am studying at home I flick on the Last.fm application and enter in an artist or a 'tag' that I feel like listening to. And voila. It goes for hours, generally with music I want to listen to and I am only irritated when it occasionally adds in a track it should know I dislike, or one that I haven't heard and am so instantly in love with that I need to check what it is. You can take the music geek out of the record shops... if you haven't got it, you should download it, it really does make a difference to listening over and over again to your own collection.

2. Facebook (more specifically the countdown application)
"Whatever!" I hear you yell in your best chav-tastic accent! You think I lie! But no! Every time I see that god damn countdown on my page I get a pang of guilt that I am on that site, extolling the virtues of it to whoever 'finds' me that day, and telling every single person who happens to be in London that we should totally meet up. Umm, no. No, I just looked at my countdown. I really should get some work done before we do coffee. So sorry to muck you around.

3. Cleverer people than me writing cleverer blogs
I get excited by wit and intellect, especially when it relates to my field of study (Arts Management, remember? Oh wait, did I tell you?). So when I need to find some inspiration, a light bulb moment if you will, I turn to my friend the bookmark on Mozilla Firefox, and click away to infinitely better crafted posts than mine, with exciting links you can follow, and thus take up at least an hour reading up on things that actually do come in handy! It's procrastinating, but it's not! Astounding!

My favourite is an ArtsJournal Blogger, Andrew Taylor. The Artful Manager always brings fascinating tidbits from a man who seems to be a very good lecturer in this field. I haven't looked at any of the other blogs linked on the site, but his is enough for me. Another good one that comes from someone working in a Theatre, rather then Andrew Taylor's academic sidings, is Butts in the Seats. It is wide ranging, and has interesting stuff, not quite as witty but hey if you listen to the academic writing coaches you shouldn't have personality when you write dissertations anyway. Oh god. And while not quite a blog, or really that Arts Management focused, the NZ mag Idealog inspires me to keep going, and be a clever clogs, because it is the New Zealand way. Or so I tell myself in those moments of not doing any work... which I should go do now.

It's not procrastinating until I say it is

I tried a blog when I first got to London. It was going to be quirky, a sort of feminist voyeurism and ode to attractive men in Europe. The Bakery started with a roaring trade, even featuring All Blacks (wowee those are international sporting stars don't you know) but eventually, I preferred simply staring and drooling, rather than trying to find a surreptitious way to photograph the said hot male... I also got busy with University, the very reason I am in London so the Bakery sort of got mouldy and stagnant.

But I am back.
Oh yes.

In a fit of enthusiasm, and a bout of procrastination, this blog was born. It is basically going to be about me trying to get that damn dissertation of mine done, and the myriad of ways I have (and inevitably will) skive(d) off from said dissertation. Hopefully I will even be witty and insightful, and please forgive me if I get a little nerdy by discussing my dissertation. Which I will. Because my supervisor told me so.